As I approach my 37th birthday next month, I think I have finally got to the age where I know what a mid-life crisis is, and I’m pretty sure I’m having one! I feel constantly depressed by the fact that the big life milestone events are getting fewer and fewer as I’m getting older, and they are being replaced by more and more sadness and grief. All my grandparents are now dead. My parents are getting older and are not in great health. We are getting older. The children are growing up too quickly! What is there left to achieve? To see the girls grow up I guess. To survive long enough. I feel very overwhelmed by it all at times. When I think about the time that has been versus the time ahead, I now totally understand the saying that youth is wasted on the young.

To overcome this feeling, I now find that I want to override the sadness I feel, with big plans and extravagant material things that I think will help me to feel like things are not as bleak as they seem. I want to buy a camper van, and to landscape the garden, and build a craft room for myself to name a few. We have the wedding to look forward to, but that is just one day, I have to find a way to snap out of this feeling for more than just one day. How can I enjoy living in the moment rather than wishing I was younger, wishing I had the children sooner, wishing I could go back in time and replay it all again.

So that’s where I’m at. Lost in the woods is a good description of how I feel. Constantly searching for a path that leads out of the darkness. So my plan is that I need to learn to enjoy the beauty that surrounds me instead. Accept there’s no escape and embrace it. ❤️❤️